I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
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