I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
i just google imaged poop.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
