i may or may not be watching the land before time
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Randomize
