Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
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