Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
