i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
