There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
