We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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