I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
