Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
