How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
