I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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