she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
