the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize