He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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