guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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