Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
