My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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