good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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