but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize