Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
