To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
handjob tips. give me some.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize