...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
Randomize