She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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