i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
