no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
