I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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