Dude my mom stole all your condoms
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
