if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
