A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
