I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
