He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I still have a little drunk in my system
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
