It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Started crying to "that's the way it is" by celine. What the fuck uterus?!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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