I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize