we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
This is my gift to your gina
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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