Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
