She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Randomize
