I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
