Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
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