it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
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