To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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