let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
"Friendship bread", "how to get period stains out of cement", and "elephant bereavement" are all in my recent google history. Whatever shit that was last night really did me in...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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