so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
