were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Randomize
