C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
