Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
Dicks are not precious.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
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