Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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