Small penises have feelings too.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
