distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
