Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
