well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize