how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have already put on my inside pants.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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