Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
