i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
