The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
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