I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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